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Posted at September 20, 2006, 6:10 pm: EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast! 9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! Ate some crap...Delicious! 10:30 a.m. Getting rubbed and petted! I'm in love! 12:00 p.m. Lunch! Yummy! 1:00 p.m. Playing in the yard! I just love it! 3:00 p.m. Staring adoringly at my masters. ..they're the best! I'll wag my tail in joy. 4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids are home! I'm bouncing off the walls! 5:00 p.m. Milkbones! Great! 7:00 p.m. Get to play ball! This is too good to be true! 8:00 p.m. Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly! 11:00 p.m. Sleeping at the bottom of my master's bed! Life is soooooooo great! ------------------------------------------------------- EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 683 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!! Hmmmph! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe........ for now. Original of the message was taken from http://www.auctionbytes.com/forum/phpBB/ Replies:That's a good one!Sandra http://www.That is so funny The cat diary makes me a little nervous , I... Other Topics of AuctionBytes:Is There a Way to View a Top 10 Seller List of Ebay Items?Yahoo! Competition: Sign up for Paydirect & WIN A MINI! Ausbay Anyone ? EBAY 10 CENT FIXED PRICE LISTING DAY 8 NOVEMBER 2005 Looking for "Hot Item" information list Those Nutty Novelites Welcome! Ebay Event UK? neil bansal ebay scam eBay Drop Off Centers/TA's Q&A Ebay vs. Squaretrade warranty programs Anyone know about Auction similar to Priceline.com? Emma Drown Morgan I have forgotten what this is called Auctionbytes Resource Links (Growing!) REMINDER ABOUT PAYPAL HAVING ACCESS TO YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT Breaking news:Court Rules on MercExchange v eBay Patent Case Swastika an Jadeite pin...info please Rapid Buy-It-Now Ebay put a selling limit on my account, why???? Customer wants Fenton piece... Help with art deco jug? USPS - Click n Ship Problems Crating and shipping large objects: how to handle this task Problems with Paypal Notification DO YOU BUY AT EBAY TO RESELL? Craigslist.org no longer working??? Slow eBay Sales One of Kelseys Frogs has died a better place that eBay... Tax ID? EBAY/PAYPAL eBay Fraud or Legit? Book Fly-Aways check out this strange ebay item eBay Groups and Other Networking Support Groups 5/23/02: Yahoo! to Close Major European Auction Sites Portrait of Gentleman Hot catagories Ebay Store is Unreachable. Help! Has anyone tried MOAAS? How Many members does eBay claim they have now? Merchant Account - Qualified vs. Non-Qualified - Watch out! Ghost, Cheese, and Christmas Spirit CyberSource plans to re-launch BidPay eBay Sales Reports Plus now free for everyone - Jan 2006 Thrift Shop Story in Collectors Newsletter #399 - Response |