Topic: O/T Pet Diaries

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Posted at September 20, 2006, 6:10 pm:

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!

9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! Ate some crap...Delicious!

10:30 a.m. Getting rubbed and petted! I'm in love!

12:00 p.m. Lunch! Yummy!

1:00 p.m. Playing in the yard! I just love it!

3:00 p.m. Staring adoringly at my masters. ..they're the best! I'll wag my tail in joy.

4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids are home! I'm bouncing off the walls!

5:00 p.m. Milkbones! Great!

7:00 p.m. Get to play ball! This is too good to be true!

8:00 p.m. Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly!

11:00 p.m. Sleeping at the bottom of my master's bed! Life is soooooooo great!

-------------------------------------------------------

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 683 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the
floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The
audacity!! Hmmmph!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he
seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe........ for now.



Original of the message was taken from http://www.auctionbytes.com/forum/phpBB/

Replies:

That's a good one!Sandra http://www.

That is so funny The cat diary makes me a little nervous , I...


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