Topic: Ink Spills in the Evening

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Posted at February 27, 2016, 11:11 pm:

Yay, new piece...but frankly it's something I have tons of work to do with before I'm fully satisfied. It's just something I wanted to get up here in order for everyone else to input their own thoughts that maybe I oversaw, which is basically the point of posting any work for anyone. Enjoy...I hope
Justin B. Hughe
August-Septembe
“Ink Spills in the Evening”

I have a confession to make as blades sweep the lawn, "I found my breath as I searched the straw, the pins were sound and I was strong"; yet sheets still strangle fussy locks, “I swear to you that time's best seen in the evening's dark...”
Your hands are dancing with dangerous ink, writing pages that were burned last week. “The sun and the moon are fighting, love, pick a side, win or lose—you’ll sleep fine tonight.” The gun you’re holding is nothing but a branch, so shed its bullets and sleep tight, darling, your mind is tangling, twisting fantasies around the window
Your wrist spits filth like a poisonous snake and a cigarette chokes at life as husbands yell and beat their wives, but you stayed calm. Poor people still beg and I cry and hope that they admit that life is but a moment’s drug, pushed on us by ethanol, shopping carts and freeway tolls and as I stare God in the eye, your pen falls to the hardwood floor, with nothing more than the whisper of your chest
I had a confession to make, but I'm left breathless, staring at a skyline I thought was sincere. Those needles are left wasted and I lay in fear to catch the sun in my hooded sweatshirt as the key hides in the straw. “I swear to you that time’s best seen in the morning's dark...”

Original of the message was taken from http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/

Replies:

the most obvious crit i can give is to say that its too much like pros...

I know, I just threw it together and I plan on fixing it up a bit.

dotted, biatch!

I like the prose poem style, it works well.

Slam poetry,eh? I quite like this.


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